How to Understand Your Style (And What’s Actually Not Working)
A practical self-reflection guide to help you get clarity before you even start working with a stylist.
Most women think their style problems come from the clothes, not knowing what to buy, not having enough options, feeling bored of their wardrobe, or feeling like “nothing looks right anymore.”
But when I work with clients, the real shift happens long before we even get into outfits.
It starts with clarity.
Understanding yourself, your needs, your lifestyle, your frustrations, and your goals is the foundation of great personal style. This post will guide you through the exact questions I ask in a consultation so you can explore them on your own and start uncovering what you truly need.
Grab your notes app or a journal. This is meant to be practical.
1. Start with Ease
(5 minutes)
Before diving in, take a breath, make your self a hot drink and set your intention.
Ask yourself:
Why am I doing this?
What do I want from my style that I’m not getting right now?
What would I love to change?
This isn’t about pressure. It’s about giving yourself space to be honest.
2. Your Story - What’s Really Going On?
(10 minutes)
These are the questions I ask clients because they reveal the real roots of your style challenges.
Ask yourself:
What made me realise something needs to change?
How do I currently feel about my wardrobe and how I’m showing up?
What situations am I preparing for?
(PR moments, speaking, promotions, dating, leadership, motherhood, entering a new chapter)What feels misaligned?
What isn’t working anymore?
If I could define “success” in my style, what would it look like?
Write without editing. You’ll be surprised how much clarity comes out. (Disclaimer - this will feel a bit like a therapy session)
3. Reflect Back to Yourself
(5 minutes)
Now read your answers and try to summarise them clearly.
Complete these sentences:
“My main challenges are ______ and ______.”
“What I want more of in my style is ______.”
“How I want to feel in my clothes is ______.”
“The moments I dress for most are ______.”
This is where patterns start to appear; misalignment, frustration, or repetition you haven’t consciously noticed.
This is also where clients often say:
“I’ve known this for ages, I’ve just never said it out loud.”
4. Connect the Dots
(7 minutes)
Now take what you’ve learned and explore why things feel off.
Ask yourself:
Is my wardrobe actually supporting my life as it is now?
Do I own clothes for the woman I used to be, or the woman I am now?
Where do I struggle most?
(fit, silhouettes, confidence, occasion dressing, shopping, styling myself, boldness vs balance)What are the gaps?
Where do I feel most confident and least confident?
This step shows you the difference between where you are and where you want to be.
5. What You Really Need
(5 minutes)
We’re not talking about shopping lists.
This is about the type of support or structure you need.
Do you need clarity on your style identity?
Do you need help editing your wardrobe?
Do you need guidance dressing for key moments?
Do you need a more balanced (yet bold) styling approach?
Do you need someone to show you what works for your body and your life today?
Being able to articulate “what’s missing” is huge.
6. Your Next Steps
(3 minutes)
Based on everything you’ve written, ask:
What feels like the next right move for me?
What would make the biggest difference right now?
This could be:
editing old pieces
identifying your core silhouettes
figuring out your “style volume” for different occasions
replacing items that frustrate you
or finally seeking support
There’s no wrong answer, only honest ones.
7. Closing Reflection
(2 minutes)
Finish with:
“What did I learn about myself today?”
“What feels clearer now?”
“What feels exciting?”
Clarity itself is empowering.
Once you understand yourself, the clothes become easy.
